Whats the Quality of your time???

Friends –  Are you spending time with people who grow you. Are you spending time with people who stretch you. Do you have people in your life further ahead then you in certain areas that motivate you to improve to get on their level? I’ve heard John Maxwell say “If your the smartest person in the room, then your in the wrong room”. Spend time with people (positively) outside of your comfort zone who push you to do more. How deep are the conversations? Are they the same mundane conversations all the time? If they are, its not necessarily a bad thing, but also know that you trade off time from the routine conversation, and utilize that time towards your dream, because you know you can always come back to have the same conversation. One thing about complacency/familiarity is never to far from the comfort zone and that’s never too far from the last place you saw it. Average conversations are in abundance and available at anytime. Its ok to be selfish with your time to pursue relationships that will move you forward. REAL FRIENDS will understand. (Note) They don’t have to have the same dream, as long as they are supportive.Dedicate time towards getting around successful (not just money wise. I mean quality of life) people. Ask people their goals. Here’s a truthful statement about friendship that you might not like ” Your are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Your paths will be similar. So if your friends have goals of never accomplishing anything, and living with no dreams….guess what your future will be something similar”. There’s nothing wrong with having QUALIFIED RELATIONSHIPS. Not everyone who says “hi” to you has to be your friend (be nice, but they yall don’t have to get BFF tattoos). Protect your personal circle like your future depends on it…… Because it does.

Relationships- Now this first one piggy backs with friendships as well because it is important for all relationships (friendships/dating/spouse). SHOW APPRECIATION. So vital to a relationship. Please show appreciation to the people who are important to you. Say thank you, tell them what you appreciate, notice the small things. “The smallest gestures make the biggest impact.” I recommend taking time to read “5 love languages”, because the way people acknowledge receiving appreciation is different. Secondly still piggy backing off friendship as well is having patience, trust, confidence. If they don’t have those three qualities you are signing yourself up for headache and heart break. Here’s why. Without trust (in your or themselves) they will wear down your patience. Without patience they wont take the time to consider trusting situations, or wont have the patience for necessary growth (for themselves or you). And without confidence they will need reassurance in every situation, and this will limit the amount of trust they have for you, which means…UNNECESSARY discussions, explanations,  possibly even arguments. Also 5,10, and long term goals are important here as well since this is possibly who your spending your life with. One tip Write out 50 characteristics your looking for in a spouse. They may not have all 50 but you’ll realize what your looking for, what’s important, and most importantly WHAT NOT TO WASTE TIME ON. lastly communicate with the person your in a relationship with. Because contrary to popular beliefs…They are not mind readers….Fellas…tell her how you feel…Ladies (depending on the guy)…not as much…reason being. Men want respect more then they want love…So you saying it without showing it (with respect) is wasting time.

Family – Love your family they are the only one you will have. Make time for your family they are the only one you will have. Make memories with your family, because there may be a time where that’s what you have. Realize the importance of family. They will make mistakes, but give grace the same way you would want them to have grace for you. Know that friends will come and go but family (the way they should be) will always be there. Uplift family, Support family (doesn’t always have to be a hand out…can just be a hand up). Love your family. Help your family progress along. If you didn’t do anything that will move 2 generations of your family further then where you started. You were selfish and wasted your time with your family. Lastly always let your family know their importance, that they have priority, that you love them unconditionally, because they are your family and they are the only one you have.

Love yall, Grow yourself, stay blessed.

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Just my thoughts….

dont judge me for the things..im..wait what am i sayin…idc if you judge or not.lol these are just my thoughts, right, wrong, good, bad, whatever…

1.KNOW that as people we complain entirely too much.we are ALIVE, we have electricity, health, food…we should be enjoying life instead of filling out facebook statuses with everything that is wrong with us.Negativity spreads quickly and when we post it and constantly talk about it we have turned it into an epidemic.If you have negativity, keep it to yourself.I understand that if your going thru things that sometimes we need to vent.But to buredn the world with everybad thing that we have in our life is selfish.It has gotten to the point where when you go to a friends page youll see more negative then positive on their page and theres no possible way that things could be going that bad for these people.

2.KNOW and understand the power of positivity.Uderstand that when you talk about positive uplifting topics, people respond more and are more cheerful.YOU can brighten someone elses day simply by posting/spreading positive information or words of encouragement. “things arent always as bad as they seem” will help so many more people then “FML”

3.KNOW that you control your “luck”.Have you ever noticed that “lucky” things happen to “positive people” and negative people seem to be bombarded with misfortune?its because they have pre-determind their on future.you have so SPEAK WORDS OF POSITIVITY.if someone asks how your day is, do not say “terrible or things cant get anyworse”,predict that you will have a positive future “ok now, but things are going to get better” “not as smooth as id like, but im staying positive” that simple difference will give faith to others whenver they are in tough situations, they will follow your lead and keep a positive mentality.

4.KNOW that people are watching you. know that people notice what you write,what you say, how you carry yourself, the company you keep.PEOPLE WATCH JUDGE AND TALK, about almost everything that you do (we normally call them haters, but they are a part of life (and should be appreciated because that means that you are doing something worth talking about)). Since people are watching you, it leads to the question…HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE VIEWED?what do you want people to say about you..Do you want people to think your a negative person,a fun person,a leader, a follower, a person who didnt live up to their potential?

5.KNOW that you WILL BE JUDGED BY THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.no matter what kind of person you are, you could be a well spoken person who makes good grades and goes to chuch 6days a week, if you surround your self with “dirty people” or people who ….how do i say this…ok..if you couldnt look your pastor in the eye with confidence when you introduced them to this person/these people, then you might want to limit the amount of time you spend with these people.Try to surround yourslef with people who are going to challenge you, push you to be better, make you stive for greatness. great quote “do not stay grounded with turkeys, when you can bo soaring with eagles”. Dont cheat yourslef in life. aim for something more.

6.KNOW the importance of dreaming…yes dreaming…you dont have to be sleep to do this.but if you ever want to have any type of goal, your going to have to dream. and dont just dream,DREAM BIG. Strive for something more.”IF you try for the the dreams 4times the size of everyone else, even if you only get halfway there, you’ll still be TWO TIMES MORE SUCCESSFUL”

L.O.V.E

love 2

Listen- you have to listen to your spouse because that’s going to be able to teach you likes and dislikes. Know about the things that are important to them. Actually hear your spouses needs in the relationship. Pay attention to the tone of voice when they are talking. Pay attention to the message when they are talking. Sometimes the tone may be off but the message is there. Listening to your spouse is one of the most important things you can do because it is going to teach what your need to know in every aspect of the relationship.

Observe….What are the things you see that are’nt even being taught. Favorite foods, movies, likes, dislikes. When they say “I’m good” what does it really mean? Does it mean give me space and time to cool off, or does it mean I need you to let me vent. Pay attention to the things that add value to the relationship. Also pay attention the things that cause conflict in the relationship. Take the time to find your spouses love language as well as their communication style. (VERY IMPORTANT). If you focus on gifts to a persons who’s love language is quality time, your wasting your efforts. If your haven’t taken the time to understand how your spouse receives communication and which approach sets them off, you have signed up for a life full of arguments that could have easily been limited (but not completely avoided). Here is the secret. Try not to do the things that add conflict to the relationship. More importantly try not to repeat the things that bring conflict. Observe it because it will prevent future conflict between you and your spouse.

Visit…now that you’ve listened and observed….visit…spend time to talk to your spouse about what you’ve learned about each other…about seeing a difference…positive reinforcement ” I noticed last week we talked about this and I’ve noticed you’ve stepped up to fix that and I appreciate it”….visiting as in spend quality time.. Not while text, not during commercials during the game, or greys anatomy or any other TV show. Eye to Eye not distractions time with each other… Undivided attention.. It is in doing this your spouse realizes they are a priority, that are important to you, and you show this to them by taking time to visit with them. A lot of the growth done in a relationship comes from this.

Express …your feelings (within reason)…It is imperative that communication and application take place in a relationship. Express things that are needed in the relationship. Express your feelings on what has been talked about in the relationship.Are you expressing a sense of appreciation for your spouse. If you neglect to show respect/appreciation to your spouse that can been seen as a lack of importance and cause a wedge to form. Say thank you. Tell the other what they mean to you. Notice when they do something you’ve asked them to. If you have a wall (politely) get over yourself because your telling your spouse my feelings are more important then yours, and your not worth the change. And the same walls put up to protect your heat, will also keep it lonely. You have to be willing to express feelings in a relationship. You don’t have to be overly mushy if its not your personality, but you do have to communicate it if that is your spouses love language. The other 3 don’t matter if your not expressing the importance of it all….if your not applying the things that your spouse has talked to you about…he or she….will leave you.

Just some quick thoughts. Show love to your significant other. Love is more then just words. Its action behind it. And not just the action that pleases you, love is also paying attention to the action the pleases that special someone. Love y’all, stay blessed, and Grow Yourself

What if…

 What if there were sign for your happiness. What if there were clues for your purpose.signs for your relationships. If could show you there’s force that doesn’t want you to realize what your capable of would you take time listen or would you continue to ignore the signs placed in front of you. It is my belief the life is made more complicated because while most people navigate the road of life they miss the road signs of happiness because they are focused on their own problems. So to help I propose looking at three aspects of life and asking yourself “what if” these were signs.

First aspect I ask you to look at is your purpose of being here. We are all born with the seeds of greatness inside of us and I feel it is extremely difficult for that seed to germinate under florescent lighting and in a cubicle. Personal opinion aside though. What if there were signs? What if the feeling you got when you have to wake up to pursue someone else’s dream was something trying to tell you that you should be pursuing your own. What if that same energy you get when you are leaving work or on a Friday, was a sign of the energy your suppose to have throughout life when your pursuing your passion. What if that smile and glow that the “lucky ones who made it” have, was there to show you the glow your suppose to have when your doing what you were made to do? 3 John 1:2 says “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” So if your not what happy and prospering, what if its because your not pursing your not fulfilling your duty. What if there were people put into your life that are waiting for you to decide to pursue your dreams so they can help you become great, yet they are standing right outside of the place that has become your comfort zone. What if they were even guaranteed to be there but it was up to you to get out of your own way and step out on faith to find them? What if? 

Secondly I think looking at relationships is another place that I feel clues are left for those who take the time to pay attention. My personal opinion is that most people get caught up in the great area that blankets relationships/friendships and it is in this simple action that people conduct their own symphony of stress and misery. What if you looked at friendships by a simple filtering process “Are the a plus or a minus to my life” or “are they a helping me accomplish my goals or taking me away from my goals” (any filter question is fine the point is to put this person on one side of the fence or the other). Psalm 133 says “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”. Not how stressful. So what if the constant bickering, the drama, the fear, the games ect, what if all that was signs that these people shouldn’t be involved in your life, either as much or at all. What if the repeat conflicts that saturate a relationship was a messaging saying “you will continue to have these problems until you realize im trying to tell you this person doesn’t belong in your life (this much/at all)”.If and just saying If you used this filtering and knew this was going on would you allow the life leeches to continue to suck you dry or would you leave the stagnant pool of that friendship?

Lastly and this is going to stretch a lot of y’all so I need you to pay close attention to this one. What if there was a force/adversary/power (whatever you wanna call the devil…to fill in the blank go right ahead). What if he didn’t want you to accomplish your purpose? What if he was afraid of men and women knowing their actual value, because if they knew their value they would not allow themselves to live a certain way. What if he knew that if we recognized that we are sons and daughters of a king, that we had the power to change lives, that it would take away from the chaos he wanted to create. What if he knew these things so he went above and beyond to distract us. What if he used fear? what if he used guilt? What if he used familiar faces? What if he knew that he could use family and friends to distract you from your goals and use guilt to hold you back because if you went focused on what you really wanted, you would impact millions? What if he used those around you to say things or do things to occupy enough space in your mind that it trumps that part that would be focusing on your goals? What if the reason “something comes up” every time you make up your mind to make yourself better, its because he wants to keep you down, yet if you stopped allowing yourself to be weak (sorry just honest) you could overcome whatever he put in front of you and go on to be great? What if he banned talking about these things in businesses and schools because he knew people were lazy and the only way to find out these truths would be to go out of their way and find it in books, bc he knew majority of the population would never do it? What if?

What if we all have a choice? What if we all chose to step up and play the game of life at a higher level? What if we let go of fear? what if we let go of anger? What if we let go of guilt? How great could we be? What if more people started paying attention to the signs in front of them. What if you lived a life outside of your comfort zone, and chose to change lives or at least pursue your dreams. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” What if he was telling the truth? What if?

 

Do You Know Your Responsibilities

Its your responsibility. To dream big so others can be inspired and have to confidence to follow their dreams. To over come your obstacle so people can see they can over come theirs. To smile so that others smile. To laugh so that others laugh. To go above and beyond for someone you don’t know that well, not because of what it does for you because of what it teaches them in interacting with others…. To show respect. To give grace. To hold a standard for yourself and your peers. To be emotionally stable. To grow yourself so that when the time comes YOU (not someone else) brings something of value to the table. To learn so that one day you can teach. To stand out so others don’t feel that have to fit in. To be more. To change live.
Grow yourself. Stay blessed. Love yall

In the game,On the bench, or In the Stands… Whats your Position in the Game of Life

game of life

IN THE STANDS

I think the first thing to address is that if your in the stands, it means that you haven’t decided to step out of the crowd. There are many reasons people choose to stay here. Some people would rather fit in, then stand out. Others would rather comfortably watch the game then to do the work to be in it. It takes very little work to be in the crowd. I feel that most also realize that its safer in the crown. There is no chance of injury (pride, ego, fear of failure, ect). There’s a lot of familiarity in the stands as well. Chances are you will be sitting next to friends or family, coworkers and other people that you are comfortable with. So for the individuals in the stands they simply don’t have to drive to leave this position.

ON THE BENCH

Congratulations for choosing to at least get out of the crowd. You have decided to be different. Typically for bench players. You’ve atleast thought about what you want in life and are conscious on your effort. You come to practice everyday like those who are usually in the game but there are a few things that separate you from those who are typically in the game. In this position you’ll do enough work to be on the team but not enough to be a Franchise player. You haven’t developed the drive to pursue your goal/dream/passion with your whole heart. Your practice schedule is based on convenient pursuit.  You wont spend the extra hours harnessing your craft, paying attention to details, getting up early, staying up late prioritizing your priority. Your operating on anywhere between a 65-80% conviction rate where you know this is what you want to do in life (and it shows).You’ll sacrifice to an extent (you come to practice, work, gym, whatever it is for you) but your goal isn’t your non-negotiable. Things are still getting prioritized over your dream.

In The Game

You are an elite group. Not because you are better then anyone, but because you have done the work with enough faith, determination and tenacity to get there. Not Many people go after their Dreams or passions with this type of focus.  Those who are in the Game of life, have goals, usually written down somewhere short term as well as long term. Your Dream gives you energy. It has gone from your head (do I like this) to your heart ( I love what I do). And the passion exudes from you. The same thing that you wake up early for is the same thing you’ll lose sleep over. You don’t mind inconveniencing yourself to accomplish your vision. Your not swayed by those who told you that you couldn’t be able to accomplish something. In fact you used the Naysayers as motivation to get you there. These are the ones who show up early and leave late. They grow themselves, they train, they learn more on the topic, they practice practice practice and then they practice some more. You Understand that in order to accomplish dreams your going to have to sacrifice what you want now for what you want most. Success will never be built on convenience.

No matter where you are in the game of life if you want to for from the stand to the field, all it takes is effort. There was a time where even Michael Jordan was watching from the stands. As someone who has gone from watching to playing. There is absolutely nothing like it and I encourage all of you to get in the game. Love yall, stay blessed and grow yourself.

The Island of Terrible Things

I wrote this as a Unique way of looking at society. I will admit it does have a childish feel to it, I do feel there is a lot of truth to this story. I hope you all enjoy it.

There is a place called the Island of terrible things. Not far from where you are now. It is a place where dreams come to chose their final resting ground. A desolate grey land in which every day repeats itself. There is no need for one to aspire here, because here on the island of terrible things, your tomorrows mirror your yesterday. You are waken up by an ear piercing sounds of the creature named “El Reloj”. The Reloj determines the lives of the natives on the island. The sounds of the Reloj wakes the navitives, determines how long you have to eat, sleep, even see your family. All of the natives fear the Reloj, because anytime the Reloj gets hungry it will consume the Natives in a moments notice.

     Also on the island there are no friendships. You see, on the island the streets and sidewalks are all partially flooded. Not by water but by a stream of a slimy substance that oozes through the streets, down from the hills of media mountain. What’s unique about this slime is it seeps into the pores of the Natives and controls the language and since media mountain produces very few valuable nutrients for their vocabulary and well being, the locals never learn how to handle proper relationships. But they do not fear for drowning, the water level stays very similar to the verbal content….shallow, and not enough to drown but just enough to be a nuisance.

Lastly on the island of terrible things you will notice there are no automobiles. The towns people have utilized a form of treadmill. The treadmill is slow and incapable of high speeds but it moves just enough so its owner knows there is movement, yet slow enough to prevent them to get there in a timely fashion. Unfortunately for the people of the island the treadmill was designed to keep its user occupied throughout the day enough so they feel they’ve been busy, while preventing them from every truly being productive in life. It also comes with a Tv that shows a face the yells and screams at the person driving the treadmill. He is call a “Ssob”. The Ssobs only purpose is to yell at the poor soul and tell him what he can and cant do. The Ssob’s and the Reloj have complete control over your life on the Island. The Ssobs are quite clever creatures. Every Friday they give the one on the treadmill a treat, that completely wipe’s his mind clean and the poor fool repeats himself every week for the rest of his life.

Now I know you want to feel bad for the people on the Island of Terrible things. Just doesn’t seem fair. The real tragedy of the story is all of the Natives are told exactly how to leave the island. You must pass through the squawking sea gulls of doubt, leaving comfort beach, and cross the sea of hard work, until you get to the Island of Prosperity. This island is just out of sight of Comfort beach so the natives don’t take the risk of working towards something that might not be there, others listen to the sea gulls and turn back. Sadly most of the people will spend their entire lives and die on the Island of terrible things. Simply because they will not do the work to get off the Island.