I wake up and the first thing I do is grab my headphones. Comfortable and all mine, I have a playlist for any kind of mood. It puts me in my own world; me and my headphones. Started to block out the noise for the world, but they also help me fuel however I’m feeling. They always take it up a notch; my headphones basically talk to my soul when nobody else is there to talk to. Sometimes it feels that way. Every day the same; wake up, go down stairs, grab my lunch, walk to school, come home to the same cleaned room, throw my stuff down, sleep, then repeat. I live with my Dad but he doesn’t have time for me. Sometimes I don’t even think he knows I’m around…
The walk to school is the same every day as well; usually rainy and grey. Seems every day I walk this is the weather. I can’t remember a day I walked without the rain. I put my hoodie up to keep as much of the rain out of my face as possible, also with my headphones I can seclude myself in my own little world. Somewhere on my walk I realize these shoes are worn down from walking every day. I’d ask my dad but he probably wouldn’t want to hear it. Somewhere else down the block I notice it’s about time for new clothes as well, but that’s the same category as the shoes. I coast through school, one headphone in, that way I still hear what I feel like hearing and only partially catch the rest of the stuff. Sometimes I hear bits of the nonsense…something about happiness or change or some Kum Ba Yah nonsense…School ends, rain starts, and I head home.
There was a day though that something changed; the day my dad and I crossed paths. He caught me on a day when my music of choice wasn’t helping the situation. He said, “hey”, and I mumbled something back. Then he asked, “how ya been?”…. “Is this a joke?”, I asked, “I haven’t talked to you in how long and you ask how I’ve been? Like you even care”. He smiled, (which really ticked me off), “You really don’t think I care?”, he asked, “You couldn’t care less about what’s going on in my life”, I said while leaning back in my chair. I walk to school in the rain, in the same old clothes, in the same busted shoes and sit in my room and we don’t even talk.”….waiting for his response he began smiling again… “Have you noticed your lunch is there for you every day when you come downstairs?”…”yeah”, I said. “Do you realize I get up an extra hour everyday to make it for you…your favorite foods…I get up because I love you and want you to have what you like. Have you noticed something about your walk to school?”, he said. “Noticed what?”, I asked. “Have you noticed the new pairs of shoes by the door? Or the fact that you never have to dry off when you get to school? I walk with an umbrella over you every day; it’s my morning exercise but it’s the time I get with you…It may rain all around you but I make sure to keep you away from most of it, same for when you’re out of school.”, He said. “Why would you walk all the way to school?”, I asked. He replied, “Son my favorite part of my day is walking with you, keeping you safe through the storm. I also make your bed for you because I feel you have a lot going on so I clean up behind the scenes so that you don’t have to worry about those things. I’ve always been around but I just figured when you have your headphones on that you don’t want to talk. I know kids want their space but I’m always close and always around if you ever need to talk, and if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask.” It was then that I realized it wasn’t that my dad was ignoring me, He was just waiting on me to say I needed him and he was respecting the space I postured myself to receive…This man walked through storms with me, left gifts, made sure I ate the things I loved, and cleaned behind me to relieve stress. I had to have a moment of honesty with myself that if there was a gap with me and dad, it was because of me.
Many people walk through life like the boy with the headphones when it comes to God, only seeing their circumstances, their walk that feels alone, etc. Sadly they fail to realize there is a Heavenly Father that walks with you every step of the way and is just waiting for you to come to him to talk and tell him anything you need. Just like the father he will not force his way into your life, it’s up to you to come to him, and until then your will live through the perspective similar to the boy from the story. Please don’t let another day go by without starting a relationship talking to our Heavenly Father. He’s walking with you, waiting for you to put your headphones down, and talk to him.