I wake up and the first thing I do is grab my headphones. Comfortable and all mine, I have a playlist for any kind of mood. It puts me in my own world; me and my headphones. Started to block out the noise for the world, but they also help me fuel however I’m feeling. They always take it up a notch; my headphones basically talk to my soul when nobody else is there to talk to. Sometimes it feels that way. Every day the same; wake up, go down stairs, grab my lunch, walk to school, come home to the same cleaned room, throw my stuff down, sleep, then repeat. I live with my Dad but he doesn’t have time for me. Sometimes I don’t even think he knows I’m around…
The walk to school is the same every day as well; usually rainy and grey. Seems every day I walk this is the weather. I can’t remember a day I walked without the rain. I put my hoodie up to keep as much of the rain out of my face as possible, also with my headphones I can seclude myself in my own little world. Somewhere on my walk I realize these shoes are worn down from walking every day. I’d ask my dad but he probably wouldn’t want to hear it. Somewhere else down the block I notice it’s about time for new clothes as well, but that’s the same category as the shoes. I coast through school, one headphone in, that way I still hear what I feel like hearing and only partially catch the rest of the stuff. Sometimes I hear bits of the nonsense…something about happiness or change or some Kum Ba Yah nonsense…School ends, rain starts, and I head home.
There was a day though that something changed; the day my dad and I crossed paths. He caught me on a day when my music of choice wasn’t helping the situation. He said, “hey”, and I mumbled something back. Then he asked, “how ya been?”…. “Is this a joke?”, I asked, “I haven’t talked to you in how long and you ask how I’ve been? Like you even care”. He smiled, (which really ticked me off), “You really don’t think I care?”, he asked, “You couldn’t care less about what’s going on in my life”, I said while leaning back in my chair. I walk to school in the rain, in the same old clothes, in the same busted shoes and sit in my room and we don’t even talk.”….waiting for his response he began smiling again… “Have you noticed your lunch is there for you every day when you come downstairs?”…”yeah”, I said. “Do you realize I get up an extra hour everyday to make it for you…your favorite foods…I get up because I love you and want you to have what you like. Have you noticed something about your walk to school?”, he said. “Noticed what?”, I asked. “Have you noticed the new pairs of shoes by the door? Or the fact that you never have to dry off when you get to school? I walk with an umbrella over you every day; it’s my morning exercise but it’s the time I get with you…It may rain all around you but I make sure to keep you away from most of it, same for when you’re out of school.”, He said. “Why would you walk all the way to school?”, I asked. He replied, “Son my favorite part of my day is walking with you, keeping you safe through the storm. I also make your bed for you because I feel you have a lot going on so I clean up behind the scenes so that you don’t have to worry about those things. I’ve always been around but I just figured when you have your headphones on that you don’t want to talk. I know kids want their space but I’m always close and always around if you ever need to talk, and if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask.” It was then that I realized it wasn’t that my dad was ignoring me, He was just waiting on me to say I needed him and he was respecting the space I postured myself to receive…This man walked through storms with me, left gifts, made sure I ate the things I loved, and cleaned behind me to relieve stress. I had to have a moment of honesty with myself that if there was a gap with me and dad, it was because of me.
Many people walk through life like the boy with the headphones when it comes to God, only seeing their circumstances, their walk that feels alone, etc. Sadly they fail to realize there is a Heavenly Father that walks with you every step of the way and is just waiting for you to come to him to talk and tell him anything you need. Just like the father he will not force his way into your life, it’s up to you to come to him, and until then your will live through the perspective similar to the boy from the story. Please don’t let another day go by without starting a relationship talking to our Heavenly Father. He’s walking with you, waiting for you to put your headphones down, and talk to him.
Quick parable about relationships.
There were two families in identical houses. On normal sunny days there were really no differences. It wasnt until the day of the rain the differnece was shown. When the rain came it exposed leaks that both couples had in their houses. They dug a runoff trench to prevent water from flooding the house. It was hardwork but they did it.The first couple worked together as a team. The husband would clog 2 or three holes while the wife found something to block them up with, then she would clog while the husband found things to patch up the holes. Although many holes showed up, through their system they were able to patch up the many holes, place pots to catch water and anything they could do. Seeing they accomplished their goal they looked back and laughed at their creativity…and lived happily ever after…
A different story was told of the second home. The wife proclaimed in the first 5minutes of starting the trench that she was not cut out for this, leaving her husband to attempt all alone, unfortunately he was not able to finish in time.When the storms came for them the husband began to clog the holes but the wife sat and pointed at the many holes appearing. She felt there was nothing she could do so it was simply best for her to point out the holes. As the husband would move to fix a hole more holes would show, and some of the holes actually became bigger. He tried all he could as his wife simply pointed out hole after hole…noticing the water level rise he gave up and helped his wife get to the highest point of the house. As when she was safe a window burst and the racing water was swept out, pulling the husband out right along with him…never again seen by the wife.
Moral of the story:
There will be times where hardwork is necessary in relationships. But it is a lot more productive when both are working together instead of just one alone to do all the work. Secondly have a system In place to prevent the “floods” in life from rising around your relationship. Next, instead of always inly pointing out whats wrong with the home…try helping to fix the situation. Your spouse sees just as many “holes” as you do, but their actually trying to do something about it. Lastly appreciate what you have bc you never know what may sweep it away from you.
There are times you will feel like the world only wants to take from you,
There are time where it will seem there is no point in caring for others,
There will be times where it seems you won’t have time for others,
Give more of it.
There will be times it seems love only gets you hurt,
There will be times life tries to take your smile away,
The world will be become serious in order to silence your laugh,
There will be things that come up to take away your focus,
You will feel that the information you’ve learned is for your own personal advantage
You will feel that you you barely have enough for you to survive or be happy,
There will be times where you feel you are at your wits end about to lose it,
There will be people who hurt you beyond understanding,
There will be circumstances that will seem impossible to overcome,
Overcome them anyway.
There will be times where average feels comfortable,
Leave your comfort zone
There will be people who want you to fit in with the norm of mediocrity,
There will be those who try to hinder your growth,
There will be times you don’t feel qualified to bless others,
This is when you bless the most.
Love y’all, Stay blessed, Grow yourself
Asked some of the female followers of Self Growth what they would like to see changed in their man. Addressing the topics and answering questions.
What’s your position in the “Game” of life? Quick video that goes over the different roles that people play in life when it comes to bringing the game together. A way to analyze it for yourself and make necessary adjustments.
Quick video, giving a perspective on how you can stay positive, despite friction in life.
1.Do you know what an attack looks like?
– Can you recognize why certain things happen to upset you.
– Have you ever had bad things happen, just as life is going good.
– Do you know that you won’t simply be allowed to succeed.
– can you separate emotions in order to think clearly.
– Do you know if someone can flare up a certain emotion they can almost make you act however they want.
– Do you know that most bad decisions are made after an emotional attack.
– Do you know that a lot of great opportunities are missed bc of a lack of control after an attack.
– Have you realized that most attacks are never a physical one (meaning no physical harm done), only mentally and emotionally bc that’s where most people are the weakest.
2. Do you know that there’s an adversary
-Do you know there’s someone who’s against you.
-Do you know there’s someone willing to do anything to keep you drifting in life.
– Do you know it’s going to be a fight to protect your thoughts.
– Do you know there’s someone who influences people around you.
– Do you know there’s someone who wants you to live in fear.
– Do you know there someone who doesn’t ever want you to realize your self worth.
-Do you know there’s someone who wants you to live selfishly.
-Do you know there’s someone who will lie to you to keep you below your abilities.
3. Do you know he wants to keep you distracted
– Have you ever made a positive decision and immediately something goes wrong.
– Have you ever made a decision for long term great and been distracted by temporary good.
– Have close friends done or said hurtful things when you need them?
-Can you recognize a distraction.
-Can you stay focused on the big picture.
– Do you know that hell use family as a distraction.
– Do you know he will use friends as a distraction.
– Do you know that hanging around weak minded non-ambitious people increases your chance of issues. (Because their mind is easier for him to control)
4. Do you know that you playing average makes him happy
– Do you know a mind not focused on a major goal is easier to control.
– Do you know playing on a larger scale influences others to do the same.
– Do you know playing average allows others to do the same.
– Do you know he doesn’t want you at your potential.
– Do you know self confidence scares him bc he can’t fill your head with lies.
5. Do you know that he’s beatable.
– Do you know that he can’t control you if you live in faith.
– Do you know that if you make your self strong with the truth, he can’t prey on your weaknesses.
-Do you know he’s already been beaten.
– Do you know he only has the power you allow him to have in your life.
– Do you know knowing who you are beats him.
– Do you know that knowing who’s you are beats him.
-Do you know he can only distract your purpose, be he can’t stop it.
– Do you know that living in faith makes him powerless.
-Do you know that you are loved.
– Do you know that you are forgiven.
– Do you know that you are worth more then you could ever imagine.
– Do you know that there are plans for you to be prosperous and to live abundantly, and all you have to do is stay faithful.
Stay Blessed, Love y’all, Grow Yourself
Faith/Positive mental Attitude– No matter what your religious belief is. In life, you have to have faith that things will improve, things with turn out right, and that everything will be ok. otherwise. Simply having faith prevents your mind from turning life’s speed bumps into mental mountains. A positive mental attitude is usually formed from faith. But your positive mental attitude is what tells you “that wasn’t so bad” or “I made it and I’m stronger because of it”. You will attract to you the things you think about, that can either be a positive world or a negative one.
2. You wont be able to please everyone – The easier waste to run yourself ragged, is to try to please everyone. If your too bold, people will call you rude, if your too quite you’ll be called a pushover. So if their going to judge you anyways and be unhappy despite your efforts, be you and have fun. The ones that are meant to be with you will walk with you, the ones that aren’t, wont.
3.Its nobody else’s fault – You are where you are in life because of your own actions, thoughts, and beliefs. You may have had negative influences, relationships ect. Here’s the thing though, not overcoming that and moving on with your life to become a better you doesn’t hurt anybody else, it only limits you. Its never a lack of money its a lack of thought process, and if you think your situation is so bad, there are a number of motivational videos, and books from people with similar or worst situations that chose to pick THEMSELVES up.
4.You can make progress or excuses, but you cant make both – This ones pretty self explanatory. But what I want you to think about and ask yourself is “when things go wrong do I spend more time complaining about the problem, or evaluating a way for a solution?” Most people spend all day complaining over an issue that they could have come up with a solution for in 10 minutes. Which way to you spend your time. The best way to resolve this is to eliminate grey area from your life, take responsibility, and address situations. Time will pass either way, its just one way is actually productive.
5.If you want it, give it– If you want something from the world first you have to give it. I know this is contrary to what most people are taught and believe, but this is the way of the world. If you want money, your going to have to learn to give some of it away (sew the seed you want to reap). If you want real friends? You have to be one to someone else first. You want love, loyalty, companionship, good deeds, ect…Sew it….Everything you want, you have in a bag inside of you that you can plant anytime any where. and your harvest will come up. Problem is most people want the harvest without planting the seed, and that’s like saying “fire give me heat, and when your nice and warm ill add some logs”.
6.Smile – Smile for yourself because as soon as your smile, your body triggers something in your mind that says “dude things are ok…look were smiling” and your body becomes relaxed. Even if its just a little bit that can make a world of difference. Like right now you have a current mood. Wherever you are, smile…don’t worry ill wait….you instantly start to feel better. This also give you a warm presence about yourself that attracts people to you. Now, don’t walk around creeper smiling at people but if you have a nice normal smile, you will feel better about yourself and people will be drawn to you. Also your smile my be the sunshine of somebody else’s rainy day. And remember what was said about planting the seed. It may be on your bad day that someone’s smile turns your whole day around.
7.The little things are the big things – With relationships of all kinds, do the small things for people. Small acts of random kindness have the biggest effect on people. Give a compliment, hold the door, notice a change, ect. There are many people walking around who don’t have anyone else to do that for them, and you can be that person.
8.Have meaningful qualified friendships with likeminded people – If you want to have real friendships. Make your friends qualify for them. Not everybody you shake hands with is meant to be your friend. You can be nice, you can be polite, but if your going to be a life leech, I’m going to turn salty.Its not rude, its not snobby, its not anything like that, its the confidence that you bring something to the table, and time is valuable. People will bring you in whatever direction they are going in, so you have to make sure its in the same direction you want to go. Find people who are going the same direction in you in life and push each other to go further.
9.Bring something to the table, if you wanna join the feast – I respect your time, and I also respect my own. I promise to better myself, feel a need, give, add value to, serve, compliment, grow, ect, I will be there every time you need me, I will be reliable, I will be honest, I will tell you that thing you need to hear (with love) sometimes you don’t want to hear it, I am willing to give the shirt off of my back and will do everything in my power to help your dreams come true….now…What do YOU bring to the table. (I actually dare some of yall to have that conversation with a close friend and watch what they say). If you are bringing food (value) to the table and they cant even bring a cup? They gotta go.
10.Fill a void and make a friend – There are people out there right now that if you want to qualify for their world, All you have to do is pay attention. People all have certain needs, and if you can fill that need for them you become priceless, you will have people who you would dream to be around, requesting time around you just because they want that need in their life met. If its a real friend, if its positivity, if its to feel like they can have fun, if its someone who notices the small things, whatever it is, pay attention to the things the people you care about/the relationships you want. Fill the need and gain a friend.