L.O.V.E

selfgrowth14

love 2

Listen- you have to listen to your spouse because that’s going to be able to teach you likes and dislikes. Know about the things that are important to them. Actually hear your spouses needs in the relationship. Pay attention to the tone of voice when they are talking. Pay attention to the message when they are talking. Sometimes the tone may be off but the message is there. Listening to your spouse is one of the most important things you can do because it is going to teach what your need to know in every aspect of the relationship.

Observe….What are the things you see that are’nt even being taught. Favorite foods, movies, likes, dislikes. When they say “I’m good” what does it really mean? Does it mean give me space and time to cool off, or does it mean I need you to let me vent. Pay attention to the things…

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My Headphones

I wake up and the first thing I do is grab my headphones. Comfortable and all mine, I have a playlist for any kind of mood. It puts me in my own world; me and my headphones. Started to block out the noise for the world, but they also help me fuel however I’m feeling. They always take it up a notch; my headphones basically talk to my soul when nobody else is there to talk to. Sometimes it feels that way. Every day the same; wake up, go down stairs, grab my lunch, walk to school, come home to the same cleaned room, throw my stuff down, sleep, then repeat. I live with my Dad but he doesn’t have time for me. Sometimes I don’t even think he knows I’m around…
The walk to school is the same every day as well; usually rainy and grey. Seems every day I walk this is the weather. I can’t remember a day I walked without the rain. I put my hoodie up to keep as much of the rain out of my face as possible, also with my headphones I can seclude myself in my own little world. Somewhere on my walk I realize these shoes are worn down from walking every day. I’d ask my dad but he probably wouldn’t want to hear it. Somewhere else down the block I notice it’s about time for new clothes as well, but that’s the same category as the shoes. I coast through school, one headphone in, that way I still hear what I feel like hearing and only partially catch the rest of the stuff. Sometimes I hear bits of the nonsense…something about happiness or change or some Kum Ba Yah nonsense…School ends, rain starts, and I head home.
There was a day though that something changed; the day my dad and I crossed paths. He caught me on a day when my music of choice wasn’t helping the situation. He said, “hey”, and I mumbled something back. Then he asked, “how ya been?”…. “Is this a joke?”, I asked, “I haven’t talked to you in how long and you ask how I’ve been? Like you even care”. He smiled, (which really ticked me off), “You really don’t think I care?”, he asked, “You couldn’t care less about what’s going on in my life”, I said while leaning back in my chair. I walk to school in the rain, in the same old clothes, in the same busted shoes and sit in my room and we don’t even talk.”….waiting for his response he began smiling again… “Have you noticed your lunch is there for you every day when you come downstairs?”…”yeah”, I said. “Do you realize I get up an extra hour everyday to make it for you…your favorite foods…I get up because I love you and want you to have what you like. Have you noticed something about your walk to school?”, he said. “Noticed what?”, I asked. “Have you noticed the new pairs of shoes by the door? Or the fact that you never have to dry off when you get to school? I walk with an umbrella over you every day; it’s my morning exercise but it’s the time I get with you…It may rain all around you but I make sure to keep you away from most of it, same for when you’re out of school.”, He said. “Why would you walk all the way to school?”, I asked. He replied, “Son my favorite part of my day is walking with you, keeping you safe through the storm. I also make your bed for you because I feel you have a lot going on so I clean up behind the scenes so that you don’t have to worry about those things. I’ve always been around but I just figured when you have your headphones on that you don’t want to talk. I know kids want their space but I’m always close and always around if you ever need to talk, and if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask.” It was then that I realized it wasn’t that my dad was ignoring me, He was just waiting on me to say I needed him and he was respecting the space I postured myself to receive…This man walked through storms with me, left gifts, made sure I ate the things I loved, and cleaned behind me to relieve stress. I had to have a moment of honesty with myself that if there was a gap with me and dad, it was because of me.
Many people walk through life like the boy with the headphones when it comes to God, only seeing their circumstances, their walk that feels alone, etc. Sadly they fail to realize there is a Heavenly Father that walks with you every step of the way and is just waiting for you to come to him to talk and tell him anything you need. Just like the father he will not force his way into your life, it’s up to you to come to him, and until then your will live through the perspective similar to the boy from the story. Please don’t let another day go by without starting a relationship talking to our Heavenly Father. He’s walking with you, waiting for you to put your headphones down, and talk to him.

In this mind of mine.

In this mind of mine…..
Aint no need for goals…
No filtered conversation.
No importance of roles.
In this mind of mine
I dont want no standards…
Dont want nobody who respects
Got no time for manners
In this mind of mine
Please dont show me how I can be able
Im just tryna sit right down
Put my feet on yo table.
What they heck if food fa thought?
And who else is you cookin fo?
Relational qualifications?
Specific bout whatchu lookin fo?
Even at a distance im the one…
Who you should always say goodmorning boo….
I just want you in my wolrd..
Yeah the one you be conformin to…
In my mind yes I see it…
Your the best ive ever had..
Your brought ambition, faith and blessing…
And me? I brought the bag…

Your boo
-nosense

On my walk

I let my mind take a walk. Outside of this small town called reality. Never understood why like it here..its chill not really entertaining…its tooo comfortable if you ask me… I started walking toward the big city of opportunity. Yeah its a long walk but most long roads have good stories that go with em….so I let my mind walk…watching as most of the towns people gather outside the social stores with the local news “reality tv” playing…I wonder if they even see me walking by…on second thought who cares…my mind walks a little further..towards the museum of things past..I slow down (but never stop to) look at some of the life manikins…one tries to smile I smirk at her shake my head and keep it moving…ive seen to many people get stuck there wastin time…cant be me…my mind walks a little further past the playground…odd place…buncha benjamin button type people…should be adults but act like kids…one minute they play together…next they fight and tattle…then they play again…one of those locations where you slow head tilt like confused puppies as you watch. They ask me to play, but I let them see I have my grow up pants on today so there will be no playing….they seem cute and it may seem fun but always ends same result.
..HEADACHE…I say by to the kiddies and keep going….right at the edge of town…I see my old crew…as them if they wanna come too…they say they cant…they mention something about stayin stagnate, the rest I fell asleep on but woke saying “its all good ill see yall soon”(knowin that I wont) but its cool bc theyll be right there if I ever come back to visit…same spot…same actitivity…as I start to leave town almost on que the winds change…”huh looks like rain” I think…good thing my mind came prepared for this cold world throw on the pea coat open the umbrella cant even feel a drop and whats better is I leave the town in style…I let my mind take a mind take a walk…nothing like some change in scenery.

Holes the the house

Quick parable about relationships.

There were two families in identical houses. On normal sunny days there were really no differences. It wasnt until the day of the rain the differnece was shown. When the rain came it exposed leaks that both couples had in their houses. They dug a runoff trench to prevent water from flooding the house. It was hardwork but they did it.The first couple worked together as a team. The husband would clog 2 or three holes while the wife found something to block them up with, then she would clog while the husband found things to patch up the holes. Although many holes showed up, through their system they were able to patch up the many holes, place pots to catch water and anything they could do. Seeing they accomplished their goal they looked back and laughed at their creativity…and lived happily ever after…
A different story was told of the second home. The wife proclaimed in the first 5minutes of starting the trench that she was not cut out for this, leaving her husband to attempt all alone, unfortunately he was not able to finish in time.When the storms came for them the husband began to clog the holes but the wife sat and pointed at the many holes appearing. She felt there was nothing she could do so it was simply best for her to point out the holes. As the husband would move to fix a hole more holes would show, and some of the holes actually became bigger. He tried all he could as his wife simply pointed out hole after hole…noticing the water level rise he gave up and helped his wife get to the highest point of the house. As when she was safe a window burst and the racing water was swept out, pulling the husband out right along with him…never again seen by the wife.

Moral of the story:
There will be times where hardwork is necessary in relationships. But it is a lot more productive when both are working together instead of just one alone to do all the work. Secondly have a system In place to prevent the “floods” in life from rising around your relationship. Next, instead of always inly pointing out whats wrong with the home…try helping to fix the situation. Your spouse sees just as many “holes” as you do, but their actually trying to do something about it. Lastly appreciate what you have bc you never know what may sweep it away from you.

Opposing Logic

There are times you will feel like the world only wants to take from you,
Give more.
There are time where it will seem there is no point in caring for others,
Care more
There will be times where it seems you won’t have time for others,
Give more of it.
There will be times it seems love only gets you hurt,
Love more.
There will be times life tries to take your smile away,
Smile more.
The world will be become serious in order to silence your laugh,
Laugh more
There will be things that come up to take away your focus,
Focus more.
You will feel that the information you’ve learned is for your own personal advantage
Teach others.
You will feel that you you barely have enough for you to survive or be happy,
Share more.
There will be times where you feel you are at your wits end about to lose it,
Practice patience.
There will be people who hurt you beyond understanding,
Practice forgiveness.
There will be circumstances that will seem impossible to overcome,
Overcome them anyway.
There will be times where average feels comfortable,
Leave your comfort zone
There will be people who want you to fit in with the norm of mediocrity,
Stand out.
There will be those who try to hinder your growth,
Grow anyway
There will be times you don’t feel qualified to bless others,
This is when you bless the most.

Love y’all, Stay blessed, Grow yourself